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[Fill in the Blank] "If I were your age, I'd..."
Electroboy: "that's standard older guy advice ... often starting with "if i was your age, i'd be ______ "
So.
Fill in the blank, like this: "If I were your age, I'd be kicking your ass on a regular basis."
or, "If I were your age, I wouldn't be taking advice from tired old men."
We must have lots more wisdom like that to share.
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If I were your age, I'd be
If I were your age, I'd be purchasing real-estate investment properties, knowing that they'll triple in value. Instead of spending all your money on gin, beer, and cigarettes. That way, when you're 30-*cough*-something, you'll be able to spend all your money on *really good* whiskey, beer, and cigarettes.
If I were your age, I'd run around a lot. Feels good, don't it? It won't last, you little fucker.
If I were your age, I'd do exactly the same things you're doing now, because I could.
conversely
from a whippersnapper:
If I were your age, I'd dress like it. Put that Christian Audigier hoodie away, old man.
If I were your age, I'd stop dating people young enough to be my daughter. Aren't there enough women your own age, that you have to steal from us?