Caption This: "So There I Was..."

And then she was like "please don't kill meeeeee," and then I was all like, booyah, beeee-yotch! Wa-BAP! How ya like me now? Haiiiiiiiil yeah!

"So I reckon when the stack of Abramoff indictments gets this high, we raise the terror alert again. Ya think?"

"No, see, you're this tall. And I'm this tall. That means I'm the President."

..."so then I was all 'Hook 'em 'Horns', and she was all 'What?', and I was all 'hook 'em, you know. Longhorns. UT and SC.' Longhorns' horns are really wide. Wider than this. Maybe they don't have them in Wyoming, either."

"Okay, so the jet plane on my right is Fiscal Policy, and the jet on my left is Foreign Policy, and right in the middle, about where my tie is? That's the World Trade Center of Domestic Policy. We'll be retired when it all comes together. Just make sure your kids are invested in gold."

I love that part where Tom Cruise is all upside down and that dang Russky is all "where'd he go?" and then ol' Mav flips him the bird.

"Make the pie higher. Yeah, I meant it. This would be a pretty goddamned big pie."