predicate.

Yes We Can... order our shirts from CollectiblesToday.com.

No team with a losing record has ever made the playoffs in the history of Pigskin, and the luckless Baystate Wicked Cheatahs guaranteed a losing season by dropping their seventh straight game. But on the bright side (if you can call it that) they have also made themselves prohibitive favorites to collect our Streak of Piss award. Since the Army of Darkness finally managed to collect win #2 this week, the second-longest losing streak in the league is now only two games, which would require one of those teams to fall off a cliff and the Cheatahs to win their next contest for them not to take the Piss.

On the other hand, the Beefalo Balls are having their best season in history. Not only have they beaten their inaugural record of 3-10 already, but they claimed first place in the Stabby Action division with their win this week -- the first time since Week 3 that a divisional crown has changed hands. The Oak Ridge Trinities are only half a game back, though, and with the return of RB Brian Westbrook to their arsenal, team BEEF will have a fight on their hands when the two clubs clash in a couple of weeks.

It's coupletin' time!

scottydont: so the ladyfriend forwarded me an email that's making the rounds with her ultra-conservative family
[8:24pm] scottydont: "PBS has an online poll posted asking if Sarah Palin is qualified. Apparently the left wing knew about this in advance and are flooding the voting with NO votes."
[8:24pm] collier: "Hi, we're Sonic Youth. When we're not playing highly dissonant feedback-laden music, we cut ourselves."
[8:24pm] squorch: THE LEFT WING KNOWS ALL
[8:24pm] scottydont: "The poll will be reported on PBS and picked up by mainstream media. It can influence undecided voters in swing states."
[8:25pm] scottydont: dear god no!
[8:25pm] squorch: thank god my mother doesn't know how to use email.
[8:27pm] collier: mine does. I get a lot of Amusing Pictures of Pets in Outfits.
[8:27pm] stankow: That surprises me about thismuch, collier.
[8:29pm] letsgomiah: good heavens, +3 iron shoes
[8:29pm] collier: hey, at least I don't get the shit with roses and angels and Precious Moments pictures and A WISH FOR MY FAVORITE GIRLS forwa>>rd this to your entire address book and...
[8:29pm] Rawphone: woo
[8:29pm] scottydont: stankow took you off his CC list?

EDIT: I apologize for omitting one of the games in the first draft. This has been remedied.

It was a weekend of surprises, both in the NFL and in Pigskin. The top three teams in the mighty NFC East lost out to lowly St. Louis, Cleveland, and (slightly less lowly) Arizona, although the last-place Eagles salvaged some pride by dropping 40 points on the 49ers.

Over in Pigskin, the undefeated Chicago Rhyparographers took their first loss at the hands of a 2-3 team, while The Wrong Petersons managed to score their second tie in two games, and now own the very strange record of 1-3-2. It won't be easy to make a playoff run from a 1-3-2 start, but hey -- at least it's not 1-5.

You came for the couplets, so without further ado...

We here in the Predinexus pride ourselves on being well-read Joe and Jane Sixpacks. Some of us even know how to string words into sentences pleasing to both eye and ear. We delight in the whimsical wonder of the written word.

Except for some words. Some words need to die.

The PrediBrainTrust has spoken! The definitive Pure Popcorn Action Movie is:

Fried Soup was our most active division again this week, as the bottom three teams got into a tussle and flipped around. The Defenestrators are having the most trouble with our first tie-breaker, as all three of their losses have been against teams in their own division.

The league also logged its first tie of the season in Week 5, as The Wrong Petersons and The Show battled to a stand-still. Ties are rare in our league, with only one happening in each of the past three seasons. But last year's occurred in the playoffs, and required some improvisation by the Commish to decide who got to move on. So if we have to have one, better we get it out of the way now.

Brace for couplets!

With roughly a third of the season behind us, the divisional rankings are starting to harden. None of the top two teams in any division budged this week, although some new teams have managed to wedge their way into a potential playoff berth with those all-important divisional wins.

Still, it traditionally takes at least seven wins to guarantee a ticket to the post-season, and even our best teams still only have four. So there's plenty of time for a shake-up in the standings. But sooner would be better than later for the eight teams who are currently sitting on a losing record. :)

Couplets ahoy!